Limericks

October Limericks by Max & Mum:

Bob the Slob

Once there was a man named Bob,

Who was really quite a slob.

He did a poo,

In an old brown shoe,

While crunching a chocolate hob-nob.

1st October 2013

My Crazy Cat

I have a rather crazy cat,

He likes to fight my black door mat.

While chasing a gecko up a wall,

It came to him, he had to fall,

And give the lizard a big bat.

2nd October 2013

A Drink of Milk

The man who first drank some milk,

Found it tasted smooth as silk.

He put it in coffee,

He put it in tea.

And now I eat my cereal with milk.

3rd October 2013

Oh, How I Love Cheese

I really like Parmesan Cheese,

Way nicer than little green peas.

Emmental comes with holes,

Mozzarella comes in balls,

And Pizza comes covered in cheese.

4th October 2013

Crunchy Apples

Apples taste best when fresh and crunchy,

I don't eat pears there just too lumpy.

I eat one once a day,

To keep the doctor far away,
And stop me getting sick and grumpy.

5th October 2013

Sausages

Filled with cheese, they roll around,

On barbecues a sizzle sound,

Sitting on automatic grills,

Hot dogs complete with all the frills.

I like my sausages by the pound.

6th October 2013

Ice Cream

Delicious cold ice cream,

Turns into a chocolate stream.

In a cone,

Or in a cup,

It's every school kid's dream.

7th October 2013

Water

A huge roomful of water,

Can explode just like a mortar,

It's refreshing to sip,

It's so great for a dip.

And we are 95 percent water.

8th October 2013

Mummies

I once knew an Egyptian mummy,

Whose demeanour was really quite funny.

All wrapped in a sheet,

From his head to his feet,

He'd no brain, no heart and no tummy.

9th October 2013

Pizza

While devouring a cheesy pizza,

I was caught by a sneaky cheetah,

It nicked a slice,

Not once but twice,

So I rolled up the rest as a fajita. 

10th October 2013

Trees

Outside my house grow lots of trees,

Today cut straight down to their knees.

The branches shrunk,

Right to their trunk,

No more to sway in a gentle breeze.

11th October 2013

Older Brothers

Sometimes an older brother,

Really causes you to suffer.

They give your door a knock,

To make you jump in shock,

To tell you it's time for supper.

12th October 2013

Washing the car

Washing a car can be such fun

Sunday morning in the sun,

The wheels were really dirty,

Which made me feel quite thirsty,

Soap, water, sponge, then you're done.

13th October 2013

Lemons

Lemons, yellow, juicy and sour,

Drink a glass for superpower,

Add some water, and you've made,

A refreshing cup of lemonade.

That tastes much better than cauliflower.

14th October 2013

The Big Storm

Last night there was a thunder storm,

It kept me scared right up till dawn.

The thunder clapped,

The lightening snapped.

So now all day I know I'll yawn.

I also had another thought:

A mighty storm raged last night,

It gave me such a terrible fright,

The thunder thumped,

And I just jumped,

It sounded like a meteorite.

15th October 2013

Sleep

Not having enough sleep,

Makes you grumpy and weep.

You're drowsy all day,

What more can I say?

Head on your pillow, sleep deep.

16th October 2013

Balloons

A band of smelly baboons,

Flying multicoloured balloons,

Went out for a walk,

With a knife and a fork,

And a bag full of wooden spoons.

17th October 2013

Joe's Toe

A grumpy old man named Joe,

Had a habit of stubbing his toe.

So he wore a steel boot

And played on his flute,

While praying for the weather to snow.

18th October 2013

Pie

Once a man made a pie,

That could really make a lie.

He stuffed it with cheese,

And frozen peas,

And called it chicken pie.

19th October 2013

Brushing Teeth

At night my I'm always in a rush,

To give my teeth a brush.

So the stripy paste,

With a minty taste

Gives those germs a flush.

20th October 2013

Back to School

When you go back to school,

It can make your feel like a fool,

If you forget your sums,

You have to twiddle your thumbs,

And try your best to look cool.

21st October 2013

What to Write?

I racked my brains with all my might,

I simply didn't know what to write.

We'd written about cats, mummies and cheese

And even sausages, pie and peas.
I'll go outside and fly a kite.

22nd October 2013

Headaches

Creeping up they worm inside your head,

Twisting fingers weave a painful thread,

Thumping like a drum,

Your head's a rugby scrum,

Go away I'm staying in bed instead.

23rd October 2013

Wounds

Falling over cuts your knees,

The same as falling out of trees.

Stick on a plaster,

So it heals faster,

Unless of course you were using skis.

24th October 2013

Fridays

Friday's nearly the end of the week,

The weekend's just a little peek.

Two days of rest,

Simply the best,

And then it's Monday, squeak, squeak.

25th October 2013

Happiness

What is it like to be happy?

Is it jumping and being batty?

Is it a smile?

A look to beguile,

How nice it is to be happy.

26th October 2013

Bread

I like my bread slightly toasted,

Not plain or even almost roasted.

No butter, no jam,

Just cheese, no ham,

A plain piece of bread, not overloaded.

27th October 2013

Hot Chocolate

I like to drink my chocolate hot,

With frothy milk, poured on top.

Sprinkle with marshmallows

Warms your heart and toes,

I think I'll make a huge great pot.

28th October 2013

Dinosaurs

Giants plodding on the earth,

Jumped the queue and got here first.

Scaly claws

And toothy jaws,

They'll eat you if they find the nerve.

29th October 2013

Frogs

There were three frogs who lived in a pond,

Two were green and the other was blond.

They hopped and croaked,

And splashed and soaked,

And little tadpoles then they spawned.

30th October 2013

Halloween

Stir the cauldron, stir the pot,

Fill it up with what's and not.

Add a twist of lemon balm,

Add a frog's leg for a charm.

A magic spell's now what you've got.

31st October 2013